Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Naked Truth About Pregnancy & Childbirth..

I can’t believe how long it’s been since my last post. Apologies for slacking…& to think I’ll be even busier when the little man arrives – I better get on it. The pregnancy has been pretty easy for me despite the stories I hear & read about from other women. I would consider myself pretty lucky to say the least, but now I’m nervous whether I’ll be punished with a long and painful delivery. It’s too good to be true - I keep thinking to myself.

I’ve been wondering what I would write for my next post, and couldn’t help but go back to Jenny McCarthy’s book, Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth. Every now and again I get an uncomfortable cramp up my leg or thigh, or I complain about my shortness of breath, or the constant trips to the bathroom in the middle of the night, but then I remember Jenny’s experiences throughout her 9 months of pregnancy and I feel lucky to have had it pretty easy overall - so far at least. She was such a trooper – big kudos to you JENNY!!! I don’t know how I would have handled it if I had gone through half of what she lived through.

I crack up every time I go back to a chapter in her book if I relate to a similar experience, so I figured I’d recap my last 7 months chapter by chapter (skipping a few that don’t relate), this way I can look back at this post and relive the wonderful 28 first weeks of my first pregnancy. While the book is an easy read, only 165 pages long, there are over 40 chapters she hi-lights, so I think I’ll break this up into different posts.

Here is my incredible journey –a belly journal of sorts and one of the best experiences of my life (yes men, I said one of the best, as in you don’t know what you’re missing).

So You Got Knocked Up? It’s amazing how you just know the day it happens. I had never bought a pregnancy test in the past (mom if you’re reading this, I swear that’s true), but for some reason I had a hunch that day in October. On my way to work that morning, I bought my first pregnancy test – well three of them just to be sure. Something was different –and I wasn’t having morning sickness or anything – but I just felt different. So I ran into the office bathroom and tested away…first test – positive, second test – positive, third test – positive. Woowee! It was true, I was pregnant! Now what do I do?

Barf-O-Rama (Morning Sickness) So this was one of the things I was dreading. I envisioned it feeling like a constant hangover every morning for 9 months of pregnancy and would dread every minute of it. My mother had the worst of it with all four of us, so I just figured that this would be one of those fabulous things I would inherit. But guess what? I didn’t! I began to have evening sickness and couldn’t understand why every night I went to bed, I felt nauseous. After the first month or so I realized that it happened after taking my prescription pre-natal vitamins, so I changed them to over the counter ones and the nauseous feeling went away instantly.

Psycho Chick (Hormonal Rage) …the only thing that comes to mind is sorry baby. You know I love you and this isn’t me. It’s my alter preggers ego which I cannot control. Just remember how much I love you every time she comes out & watch your back!

Granny Panties (Letting Go of the G-String) This was probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure. Now you’re thinking oh come on really?! BUT it’s true….I’ve never felt comfortable in anything other than a thong (it’s a Latin thing) – so when I realized pretty early in the pregnancy that my sexy lacy thongs just wouldn’t cut it, I made the decision to purchase my first pair of granny panties. I think that they purposely make these things look ugly and huge so that your partner can blame the low sex drive on your panties and not the fact that you look like a beautiful goliath!

I Can Either Pee on You or You Can Get the Hell Out of My Way! (Frequent Pee Breaks) This is the one symptom that I believe no woman can escape. Get ready ladies for the multiple trips to the bathroom and always at the worst moments. For me it’s at least 5-6 times in the middle of the night, just about the time when I get in the car to drive somewhere (and yes I pee before I leave) & often during long conference calls. Yes, I’ve run to the ladies room in the middle of conference calls and left the party on hold without them knowing. More than once – but a preggers lady must to do what a preggers lady must do!

Is It a Penis or a Vagina? (Finding Out the Sex) The day I found out I was pregnant I was barely 6 weeks, and I was convinced it was a girl. Don’t ask me why…I just think that I wanted a girl so bad that if I concentrated hard enough and convinced everyone I was sure it was a girl, that she’d be born with a vagina. Around 4 months is when I really started to show, and it was pretty obvious to everyone that I was carrying it all upfront. A perfect round basketball – so everyone kept telling me it was a boy. I sorta knew it was too, but still kept hoping. I think that getting to my 5th month, when the doctor’s feel it’s safe to determine the babies’ sex, was the longest 4 weeks of my life. I wanted to know so bad. Gabe wanted his little man, so he was hoping everyone else was right. And so it was ladies and gentleman; on my 5th month OBGYN appointment we found out we were having a Lucas and not a Sofia. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I found out, and Gabe was jumping up and down. On St. Patrick’s Day a few weeks later, I was even happier it was a boy. I had never seen so many young teen girls in miniskirts, playing hooky and too drunk to stand straight on the 7 train heading to the St. Patty’s Day parade. If that was my daughter I’d be freaking out! Thank God you’re a boy…thank God you’re a boy.

Stay tuned! To be continued……..

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